Surrender

Pregnancy is a time of letting loose the control a woman may think she has to hold. During the childbearing years, a woman's body takes her on an organic, physical, hormonal, and emotional journey that affects change on every level of her being and has the potential to transform her in countless directions. Her challenge is to allow the process to happen within her. In other times of life it may be her work to actively be the agent of change, but during pregnancy the lessons of surrender, asking for and gratefully receiving help and self-nurturing are of greatest importance.

The work of pregnancy is to soften. The act of birth requires an enormous stretching and opening to allow one body to pass through another body. Only under the influence of massive amounts of hormones and ten lunar months of physical changes is this feat possible. Often women find themselves more sensitive, physically and emotionally throughout the postpartum phase as the body closes back down, the inner organs renegotiate space within the body and the hormone levels stabilize. The work of mothering begins during this soft and vulnerable time, when the very close bond forms between the mother and her child that is crucial to her success as a mother and to the child's lifelong mental health. Many women who are athletes, runners, ballet dancers or who practice Yoga vigorously before pregnancy are challenged by the process of learning to allow change to occur during pregnancy. Throughout their lives, they have worked hard to achieve discipline and rigor in physical pursuits, but if they continue to work their bodies at an aggressive pace during pregnancy they may find that doing so and allowing for softening and surrender is mutually exclusive.

The danger of working too hard and not resting during pregnancy is real. Physical exercise is important during pregnancy, to keep circulation flowing to all the organs, to stay strong and flexible and to keep endurance up for birth. However, exercising too vigorously has a diminishing effect on a woman's ability to open and soften for birth. Specifically her pelvic floor must be trained to relax to allow a baby to pass through. A woman whose body is so tight and fit may experience difficulty in dilating and pushing, as her body is strong, but not supple enough.

Natural Birth is like hatha yoga in that it comes in waves of effort and relaxation. The breaks between the contractions are a place of peace, where the laboring woman can rest and regain her strength for the work to come. Entering the state of restfulness quickly and efficiently is the trick to making the most of each break. The body must be strong to endure the contractions and push, yet supple to allow the body to soften and open effectively. The yogini who has prepared herself during pregnancy to go deep quickly and rest fully will have more strength available to her once the pushing phase of her labor begins.

The effect of relaxin on the joint capsules and ligaments especially of the shoulder and pelvic girdle is powerful and to be respected. A woman who is used to stretching deeply into her joints may find that she enjoys an even deeper stretch during her pregnancy due to the softening effects of the hormone relaxin on the pregnant body. Because so much opening and softening is encouraged hormonally by the body, a woman must be careful not to overstretch her joints and cause damage. There is a danger of pubic symphisis separation and instability in the pelvis. The cartilaginous costal joints attaching the ribs to the spine can be easily overstretched and curvature of the upper spine may be lost and difficult to regain later while overtasked by nursing and carrying an infant. During the postpartum phase, a woman may find that it takes up to a year for her skeleton to realign fully and if she has been practicing asana too vigorously, that skeletal realignment may be compromised.

Pratipashka bhavana

A positive and beneficial way to work aggressively during pregnancy is to work with the mind. Rigor that has been achieved physically can be translated to be of service in the very valuable mental preparation for birth. A woman who goes into labor with residual fears or unexplored emotional wounds may experience prodromal (very long) or stalled labor. Mammals must feel safe and comfortable to give birth. A woman must leave her mind behind and fully inhabit her body to allow the process of opening to occur. If deep within, she feels unsafe leaving her mind unguarded, or if her body is an unsafe and unloved place to be, she may experience difficulty surrendering to the degree necessary to give birth vaginally. There are many stories, some of which are elucidated by Ina May Gaskin in both Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May's Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth, where a mother must explore her fears about giving birth or mothering, or work through old issues right in the moment to allow her labor to continue.

The practice of Pratipashka Bhavana is to replace a negative thought with a positive one. In training the mind thusly, the pattern of thoughts gradually and progressively becomes more positive. Our culture thrives on the fleshy, scary, dramatic images of birth and some people enjoy retelling traumatic birth and pregnancy stories to pregnant women. A simple "I am only collecting positive birth stories, thanks," can be a powerful tool for a woman practicing the mental discipline of Pratipashka Bhavana to protect her thought patterns from stressful negativity. Telling beautiful and easeful birth stories instead to pregnant women helps to model the positivity and confidence that is so helpful in birth.

Honoring the process of nature

Even if she is lying on her side, breathing deeply, appearing as if she is doing nothing, a pregnant woman is fully tasked. Each of her systems is working full time to create an entire being from its first cell division. The exhaustion a woman may feel during pregnancy is well warranted and her energy is to be replenished with rest, nourishment, hydration, breath and gentle movement. While she has her whole life to work her muscles, joints and cardiovascular system vigorously, she only has ten months to be pregnant. During her pregnancy she has a unique opportunity to experience deep restfulness, and gather her reserves for the task of birthing and mothering ahead.

What is to be gained through aggressive prenatal practice?

"Practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness." Yoga Sutra 14, Book One, Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

Earnestness during pregnancy can be understood as working diligently to best support the process of growing a baby and preparing for birth. Prenatal practice should honor the holistic change apparent in a pregnant woman's body and offer her the opportunity to witness those changes, to surrender to and love her changing body and to rejoice in the blessing of pregnancy. A practice rooted in physical challenge misses the bhakti approach of full devotion to the journey of the new little guru appearing. A valuable prenatal yoga class must offer levels of participation for each woman in every stage of pregnancy and be most accurately calibrated to her inner health. The prenatal Yoga teacher must make time to build community among the students, to practice deep visualizations and meditations that invite optimism. Affirming the vital work of childbearing and creating a space where it is safe to find renewal gives the gift of validation. A class that emphasizes too strongly a vigorous practice can alienate women who are feeling tired, who are feeling discomfort, and who are needing a soft space to fall back in love with the process of pregnancy. Let us allow mothers to steep the children within in a deep peacefulness that will serve them and their families through birth and beyond.